Breakups are often the catalyst for what can be a protracted period of painful emotional disintegration.
Breakup records, for both the creator and the listener, are often cathartic.
For musicians, breakups can be a powerful artistic force. Making a record about one is an opportunity to reflect and, ideally, come to some kind of resolution. At the very least, it can be a valuable tool in the healing process.
For listeners suffering similar experiences, these records can be similarly critical in working through the myriad emotions and challenges brought on by the end of a relationship.
I should state for the record that I’ve tried to focus only on records that are largely, if not entirely, about relationship breakups (not band breakups). I’ve also included only records I have in my collection.
At this risk of stating what should be obvious, I’ve left off records by, say, the Smiths or Elliott Smith because Morrissey and Elliott sing about heartbreak and loneliness as a matter of course. Narrowing it down to one record would be a bit silly in this case.
The Good Life – Album Of The Year (Saddle Creek, 2004)
Tim Kasher has made the navigation of emotional torment a central element of all his work with Cursive but Album Of The Year, made via his side project The Good Life, seeks to tell a more or less coherent story about the disintegration of a relationship.
The title track is my favourite. Chronicling the beginning and end of a relationship, it takes you from the breathless excitement of incipient love (“She used to call me every day from a pay phone on her break for lunch/Just to say she can’t wait to come home”) to the process of dividing up belongings and disentangling shared lives (”The last time that I saw her she was picking through which records were hers/Her clothes were packed in boxes, with some pots and pans and books and a toaster”).
“Lovers Need Lawyers” covers the petty bickering that can arise when a couple struggles over the terms to define the end of the relationship.
“A New Friend” captures how heart-wrenching it feels to one day find out your ex-lover has found someone they think is better than you yet you still think they might come around one day (“But if you ever change your mind/I could still buy that box of wine/I’ll still have your copy of Harold and Maude”).
Spiritualized – Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space (Dedicated, 1997)
A quintessential broken heart record, Jason Pierce is thought to have written the record in the aftermath of his breakup with the band’s keyboard player, Kate Radley, who had secretly ran off with and married the Verve’s Richard Ashcroft. (Pierce has often denied the connection.)
The track “Broken Heart” is the most beautiful song about heartbreak I’ve ever heard. What’s fascinating is how hard Pierce tries to say he’s not being dragged down by the person who broke his heart, it’s abundantly clear that there is at least a hint of denial motivating the words. We’ve all been there.
Ryan Adams – Heartbreaker (Bloodshot, 2000)
Ryan Adams certainly didn’t shy away from sharing the experience of breaking up with his girlfriend Amy Lombardi. He even named one of the songs “AMY”.
The intimacy of the record is what makes it so great though. This isn’t a concept record or a record inspired by real events. It’s a raw portrayal of a breakup seen through the eyes of one of the parties.
“My Winding Wheel” captures the frustration of feeling aimless and full of self doubt (“‘Cause I feel just like a map/Without a single place to go of interest/And I’m further North than South/If I could shut my mouth she’d probably like this/So buy a pretty dress/And wear it out tonight/For all the boys you think could out do me/Or better still be my winding wheel”).
The breathy sigh at the beginning of “Call Me On Your Way Back Home” shatters me every time and the rest of it is of little help to put the pieces back.
The desperate plea to understand how someone you don’t want to live without decides to leave you in “Why Do They Leave” (“ Lover why do you leave/On the day I want you to be/The one”) leaves you feeling that you should have just taken the sledgehammer to yourself instead.
Once you’re finished with this one, you’re going to need a lot of whisky.
Beck – Sea Change (Geffen, 2002)
Beck wrote the entire record in a week after the end of a nine-year relationship, having found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him.
Much like Adams’s Heartbreaker, this record is painfully raw, perhaps even more so. It can be very difficult and is certainly unsettling to listen to. After all, witnessing another person’s emotional catastrophe first hand is not an easy thing to do.
It represented a significant departure from his earlier music both lyrically and musically. But, as many critics suggest, it might be the best record he ever made.
“Golden Age”, the opening track, captures perhaps the toughest point in recovering from the end of a relationship, when you’re consumed by an inability/unwillingness to even make an effort to recover from it (“These days I barely get by/I don’t even try”).
“Guess I’m Doing Fine” is a great reference point for those trying to get back to “normal” after losing someone who was an integral part of your life (“It’s only lies that I’m living/It’s only tears that I’m crying/It’s only you that I’m losing/Guess I’m doing fine”). The way Beck delivers it is pitch perfect; you know he knows, as we all know, these are invariably empty words.
Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago (Jagjaguwar, 2008)
When it comes to breakup records, it’s hard to top Justin Vernon retreating to a cabin in the woods of Wisconsin and healing himself with only his voice, guitar and a warm fire.
The record takes you from the crushing weight of all the hurt and loss and leaves you with the sorrowful resolution to keep the flame of love lost with you forever, as it will always be a part of you (“This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization/It’s the sound of the unlocking and the lift away/Your love will be/Safe with me”).
Not exactly uplifting stuff but it is a beautiful record and ends up strangely comforting. That, of course, is all you need.
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